© T.H. Warrior – Tender Hearted Warriors
– S.S.P. & E.L.C.
It is undoubtedly true that hope is grace.
But it is a delicate grace.
Sometimes it demands our willingness,
to see a chance even in failure.
A new possibility in defeat.
Perhaps hope is the fool’s ultimate wisdom.
It is a challenge trying to define hope; some view it as a parallel path to optimism. Some get quite religious about it, but I think hope gives us that support and solace we need when faced with an obstacle, a life shock, or an uncertain future. We mostly need hope when we are pushed out of our comfort zones and need a source of reassurance that everything is going to be just fine, just like before. We find our braver sides with the hope that makes us believe that we can overcome any adversity, pain, loss, or tragedy.
„Perhaps hope is the fool’s ultimate wisdom.„
T.H. Warrior
Hope is geared towards the future, it is a joy for the future, and has a positive and less positive aspect. The less favorable side of hope is that, by hoping, we shift our happiness to the future, instead of enjoying what we desire now. In this sense, hope has a slightly stale aftertaste.
Hope is the engine of life, the drive of our existence:
Hopefully, this love will last forever.
Hopefully, the pain in our stomach is not severe.
Hopefully, I can find a job.
Hopefully, it doesn’t rain today.
„We find our braver sides with the hope that makes us believe that we can overcome any adversity, pain, loss, or tragedy.“
T.H. Warrior
Every morning starts with hope. There is the lonely one who registers on an online dating site—the refugee who gets on a boat, the cancer patient who goes into therapy again. Hope shows them the way; releases forces that can decide whether to live or die; it has proven itself in evolution: it provides a boost of motivation. If we have in mind that something will turn out well, we will do everything to achieve that goal. Hope releases strength. It drives us to give everything in the final sprint or to get through anything. We hide the stress and exhaustion. Our body reaches its limits. This last bit of push often makes the difference between surviving and dying, between success and failure.
Robert Fulghum says: „I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That laughter is the only cure for grief. I believe that love is stronger than death. And that hope always triumphs over experience.“ As if it gives us the right amount of support whenever we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, which brings me to my point:
Are we hoping for the right reasons?
Living in the 21st century and having unlimited access to all sorts of information puts a great responsibility on media about how they portrait people’s lives; I think with the Kardashians on TV for the past couple of decades, we can all agree that media has been careful about the influence it leaves on the viewer, but to its own advantage, and for its own agendas: monetary, and political; so what’s left is our own responsibility towards ourselves: when we watch a program, of people living generation after generation in castles, instead of making that our number one hope and daydream guilty pleasure, maybe we should question the factuality and reality of that show.
Next time we see a cellulite-free swimsuit illustrate model, instead of torturing ourselves and hoping for that body, maybe we should start having faith in the magic of photoshop. All we see on television and on online platforms is tall, thin, rich, and successful people making it all the way to the top effortlessly- have you ever double questioned it? You rather believe that the French fries in America have five calories less than in India. And that’s how you register for a 2-year membership of a gym you can’t even afford. You would rather believe that you do not believe in yourself enough, and that’s why you keep failing at everything. And that is precisely the moment you spend a month of rent on an inspirational speech concert, and you hope that your life is going to change right after magically.
The TV program you’re watching makes you believe in having problems that you clearly don’t, and surprise surprise, guess who has the solution for those problems? You’ll find them in the commercials between that very program. People sign up for marriage counseling that cost them their cars, just because they think their marriage doesn’t follow common guidelines. And who set these rules? Either Dharma and Greg or a couple they know who watches Dharma and Greg.
Another thing we should always keep in mind is the nature of our hopes. Our hopes‘ body and texture should not come from an illusion but from realistic factors that we are in complete control of. An excellent example of that is me hoping to be less emotional in my professional life. Work is work- not personal or emotional. And guess what? The only person involved in that hope is me. No one can take it away from me- no one can interfere in this personal engine of mine but myself. And with the right amount of effort, persistence, and conviction, I can become who I hoped to be.
My dreams and hopes from yesterday are my reality today. But what would the situation be like if I make it my life mission and number one hope to become the next editor-in-chief of Vogue? The problem is the nature of my hope. This time, my turning this hope into a reality depends on dozens of others‘ decisions, if not hundreds. Now take this example and look back at your despairs; whenever you lost hope and faith in someone or something. Which type of hope did you have? Personal or public?
On numerous occasions, we’ve heard people admire their heroes‘ work, success, and glory in both their professional and personal life. That top athlete, the noble prize winner, Mr. favorite professor, or even their role model mothers; these successful examples have gone through a hell of a path to get themselves to where they are right now. Thanks to their personal lives, they might still be suffering scars of some deep permanent holes in their hearts. They most probably find themselves in a constant battle to get through every single day, and surprisingly enough, not considering themselves even remotely as successful as they want to be.
What is it about those heroes that people cannot see?
And then it hit me:
It isn’t about their sight but their sight range.
I remember my father always told me: „the way you walk and carry yourself tells a lot about you.“ And of course, he wasn’t talking about me walking more like Heidi Klum and less like a penguin. What he meant was that while I’m walking, I shouldn’t look only a few inches in front of me, or two kilometers away from me; He wanted me to cover a reasonable distance with my eyes. It’s not just about baby steps, and it’s not about dinosaur steps either:
„It isn’t about their sight but their sight range.“
T.H. Warrior
Wide enough steps in the present while keeping an eye on the future, having our pasts in mind.
It’s like driving- Not continually looking back or having our heads out of the window trying to look as far as possible.
We need to learn how to have the right hopes.
We need to master the art of going after the right things, fighting for the right reasons, and let go when what we’re holding on to, is a sharp end of a blade, only cutting us and whoever who is holding on to us deeper and deeper—knowing when to slam harder on the breaks, and when to press the gas pedal and accelerate. When to make turns and when to run over our competitions or obstacles. Fair and square, of course.
But most importantly, we need to accept the circle of life and its balance. We need to understand that life will go on, whether it is with our loved ones‘ death or with the birth of an unwanted child. That’s life. And two seconds after it happens, it won’t matter anymore if we don’t want it to, because it is in the past.
Do you remember the first time you failed an exam and it hurt really bad? Before getting the results, your hopes are at the ceiling because you are sure your gods and goddesses wouldn’t let you down; and then you see it:
„Not passed.“
Everything gets blurry for a few seconds after that. You cry in denial, of course. And suddenly, your eyes catch the study plan on your bedroom wall: each day, one subject, and you would color the days already passed with a highlighter. Suddenly something makes you stare at that plan for a good minute:
You had studied for that exam, but not even remotely as hard as you had for the other subjects.
Which brings me to my next point:
We could hold onto an unreasonable hope or be in unnecessary despair. It won’t matter if we can see it or not. Regardless, the right things will happen at the right time. Hopefully, we’re able to recognize the mistakes we’ve made down the road, learn from the failures, and rise again.
No. No one is against you; the professor doesn’t hate you in particular; the universe hasn’t turned its back on you; the exam wasn’t any harder than usual, and your beloveds aren’t the only ones suffering from a nasty disease.
That’s just life, and nothing about life is personal.
Alexandre Dumas wrote: „There is neither happiness nor misery in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more.“ All we need to learn is not to lose hope and understand the nature of life, the circle of life.